First of all, I love the song Free Bird. I love the imagery of the freedom that birds offer. They don't stay in one place too long and when they soar it is the picture of a free spirit. A bird could not soar in the sky if they had a bunch of extra baggage or weight to them. They are free.
I am a mess. I realize this about myself. I'm emotional, I think too much into things, and I'm pretty high energy in general. Something I am learning and have come to realize is that God is strong enough to handle me. In recognizing this, it frees me to simply come as I am to the Lord. Nothing I say to Him is going to shock or surprise Him, there is nothing I tell Him that He can't handle. I don't have to sugar coat things I tell Him. I have gotten into the habit of that before instead of just laying it out there. But recently I have learned what freedom comes with being completely transparent before Him. It's okay to come to come to Him just as I am. I don't have to worry about how things are going to come across to Him, for no one can measure the depths of His understanding; in Him there is no condemnation but an infinite flow of love and compassion. He can handle it. He can handle me.
"In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence" Ephesians 3:12
I've also realized that I am free to come to Him in pieces. And He wants every last piece of me...although I hang on desperately to some pieces, I'm beginning to see the joy that comes along with surrender. In this surrender I'm seeing who I truly am in Him and this revelation simply makes my heart soar and sets my feet to dancing. He wants ALL of me even the ugliest pieces of my life after all, He can beautify any mess I've created in my life.All I have to do is show up.
This Holy freedom is not something I can work towards, however. It is something that He does in and through us. If we could free ourselves from bondage we would've had no need for a Savior. How incredibly humbling it is that the Creator of the Universe would chose to come and set us free from all that entangles us and separates us from Him. Galations 5:1 says that "it is for freedom that Christ has set us free". The yoke of sin has been removed, the chains are gone, we are no longer in bondage. We have been given a freedom to live for Him and free to BE with Him.
But I so willingly place myself back in the bondage I've been freed from. I find myself caught up in the same mind traps and stumbling as I put these chains back on. Why do I do this? Because it's comfortable. Because I'm scared to take risks. Because I fail in trusting the freedom I've been given. This sin we find ourselves bound to is what we were born into, not what we were created for. We were created to belong to Him. We were created to be free. The more I learn about Him, the more I realize the humanness of me and the divinity that He is, the more I learn how much I need to be freed from and realizing that that freedom is mine. What a beautiful gift.
In Him I'm finding who I truly am.
In Him I find freedom
In Him I find Reckless Abandon
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" 2 Corinthians 3:17
Monday, June 28, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
In the Desert, But Not Deserted
Summers for me have always served as a time in the desert. It was three summers ago that I really began taking my walk with the Lord seriously and that summer God totally rocked my face off. But since then, summers have been marked by a period of dryness.
Last summer I worked for a full summer at Sky Ranch and though I enjoyed the community I had there, I still felt very alone. I felt like the battles I was fighting inside of myself were meant to be fought alone. Alone in the sense of being outside the comfort of home in Austin and outside the comfort of the fellowship and tight community that I have at TCU. Holly and I were both working at camps and she is one that God has certainly put in my life to be yoked with. To hold each other accountable and to encourage each other and speak hard truths into each others lives. With both of us working at camp, contact was very very limited. I could not run to the comfort of her words and encouragement readily, it was God and me.
In the same way, this summer I am living in Baton Rouge. WHAT?! It still gets me. I've been here six weeks and I am still blown away by His provisions. The week before I left I was a mess. It was the freak out moment. "what am I doing? I am crazy. What is my purpose for being there?" Being here, though I have been blessed with awesome community, is so outside my comfort zone. I'm in an unfamiliar city and am here at large because of this calling I feel has been placed on my life. To be honest, I still don't know what my purpose is for being here. All I know is that God is at work and that is all I need to know. But I have found myself in another desert.
Deserts are a barren land, very little grows out there and it is hot and dry. There is little direction in the desert as your footsteps you've left behind are quickly blown away and lost in the sand. It seems to go on forever. It is easy to lose sense of direction because there are no marked out paths to walk upon. There is nothing to hide behind in the desert. Nothing. Leaving me very vulnerable to any and everything. I have to depend on Him because needs in the desert are never readily met. In that dependency the need to LISTEN to Him is ever more important because I would be aimlessly wandering through the desert if not listening to His voice directing me where to go.
I would like to add, though, that though deserts are fruitless, His word never comes back empty. Isaiah 55:11 says that "so is My word that goes out from My mouth, it will not return to Me empty". This time of dryness in the desert, I believe, is a time when the soil is being loosened and turned up, as in preparing for a harvest. Because of the vulnerability that exists in the desert, I am having to face the sin in my own life. Uncomfortable? Yes, but I hate to say it, necessary. Because of my growing need to be dependent on Him, I'm more aware of the sin that separates me from Him. There is no hiding, I have to learn to be vulnerable. I am so resistant to face the sin in my life because I am so stubborn, remember?
In working through the sin in my life, seeds that will lead to a deeper understanding of His love and all that He is will be planted in this newly turned soil which will give way to stronger roots in Him so that more growth can occur.
As I said before, without depending on Him in this desert, I become a wanderer in the desert with no clear paths. His way IS clear but can only be seen while being totally dependent on Him and trusting fully in His character. I can't keep things to myself. In my need to be dependent I need to swallow my pride and take off the mask I hide behind and communicate to the Lord my desires, needs, struggles, and sins. Not one ounce of myself is going to get me through this desert. Only Him. I need to surrender with
Reckless Abandon.
Last summer I worked for a full summer at Sky Ranch and though I enjoyed the community I had there, I still felt very alone. I felt like the battles I was fighting inside of myself were meant to be fought alone. Alone in the sense of being outside the comfort of home in Austin and outside the comfort of the fellowship and tight community that I have at TCU. Holly and I were both working at camps and she is one that God has certainly put in my life to be yoked with. To hold each other accountable and to encourage each other and speak hard truths into each others lives. With both of us working at camp, contact was very very limited. I could not run to the comfort of her words and encouragement readily, it was God and me.
In the same way, this summer I am living in Baton Rouge. WHAT?! It still gets me. I've been here six weeks and I am still blown away by His provisions. The week before I left I was a mess. It was the freak out moment. "what am I doing? I am crazy. What is my purpose for being there?" Being here, though I have been blessed with awesome community, is so outside my comfort zone. I'm in an unfamiliar city and am here at large because of this calling I feel has been placed on my life. To be honest, I still don't know what my purpose is for being here. All I know is that God is at work and that is all I need to know. But I have found myself in another desert.
Deserts are a barren land, very little grows out there and it is hot and dry. There is little direction in the desert as your footsteps you've left behind are quickly blown away and lost in the sand. It seems to go on forever. It is easy to lose sense of direction because there are no marked out paths to walk upon. There is nothing to hide behind in the desert. Nothing. Leaving me very vulnerable to any and everything. I have to depend on Him because needs in the desert are never readily met. In that dependency the need to LISTEN to Him is ever more important because I would be aimlessly wandering through the desert if not listening to His voice directing me where to go.
I would like to add, though, that though deserts are fruitless, His word never comes back empty. Isaiah 55:11 says that "so is My word that goes out from My mouth, it will not return to Me empty". This time of dryness in the desert, I believe, is a time when the soil is being loosened and turned up, as in preparing for a harvest. Because of the vulnerability that exists in the desert, I am having to face the sin in my own life. Uncomfortable? Yes, but I hate to say it, necessary. Because of my growing need to be dependent on Him, I'm more aware of the sin that separates me from Him. There is no hiding, I have to learn to be vulnerable. I am so resistant to face the sin in my life because I am so stubborn, remember?
In working through the sin in my life, seeds that will lead to a deeper understanding of His love and all that He is will be planted in this newly turned soil which will give way to stronger roots in Him so that more growth can occur.
As I said before, without depending on Him in this desert, I become a wanderer in the desert with no clear paths. His way IS clear but can only be seen while being totally dependent on Him and trusting fully in His character. I can't keep things to myself. In my need to be dependent I need to swallow my pride and take off the mask I hide behind and communicate to the Lord my desires, needs, struggles, and sins. Not one ounce of myself is going to get me through this desert. Only Him. I need to surrender with
Reckless Abandon.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
The Fear of Striking Out
I am stubborn.
A little known fact I didn't learn about myself until about eight months ago. When God wants to teach me something He normally has to smack me over the head with it and there tends to be a lot of brokenness to release my hands of the death grip I have on my life. Something I have faced is how much my actions are dictated by fear. To me, living in fear means that I am not trusting the Lord. Not trusting Him to provide and show up. I take matters into my own hands and try to maintain control of situations in my life and I end up making huge messes out of them.
In my stubborness I run so quickly and hold on so tightly to safety. Not only does this lead to fear of taking risks but also it leads to a hinderance in the love I have for the Lord. I read somewhere that to love God is to trust God. It's true...the people I love the most in my life I count as the most trustworthy, I value their opinions and their guidance knowing fully well that they have my best interest at heart. How much more then should I trust God who is above all things and is all knowing and holds my life in His hands? Furthermore, 1 John 4:18 says that "there is no fear in love but perfect love drives out fear". If I am trusting in the His perfect love, what do I have to fear?
One of the biggest commands in the Bible is "fear not", this is a command, not a suggestion. He isn't asking me to be fearless when it's easy or when it's safe or when I can see where things in my life might be headed. Jesus constantly reminded His followers of this in the Gospels. He says in Luke 8:50 "fear not: just believe". Trust goes hand and hand with fearlessness as in this verse fear is put up against trust. I know I fear that in stepping out He won't back me up, that things will fall through, that I will fail. As cheesey as this may be, and believe me, I know at times I can be a good ol cheese ball, but I love the movie Cinderella Story. (Yes I am making reference to this...stay with me). One of the most memorable quotes from that movie is "never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game". This gets me every time. How many times do I let my fear of striking out, of failures, of disappointment keep me from stepping out in my faith and trusting in God's providence and favor? How many times do I simply dip my toes in the water instead of taking the plunge and diving into all that He has for me and all that I have been created for? How many times do I tell God: "I am not budging until you give me clear signs of what I am to do?". Hm. Lack of trust, much? Living a life of faith, I am learning, is stepping out and taking risks even when there is a lack of clarity and certain elements of discomfort.
I am reading a book right now by Brennan Manning (surprised? I try not to limit myself to his writings but I appreciate how Biblically and theologically sound his writings are and it makes me chew a little bit harder and dive deeper in the truths that the Bible presents). This one is called The Signature of Jesus and is all about living a life of authentic faith and radical discipleship. Manning presents the element of fear like this:
"fear breeds a deadening caution, a holding back, a stagnant waiting until people no longer can recaull what they are waiting for or saving themselves for...God calls us to break camp, abandon the comfort and security of the status quo, and embark in perilous freedom" I found myself many a time stuck in stagnancy as a result of my own stubborness and lack of trust. I have told Holly, my best friend, this many times: that I have two responses when I face uncertainties and fear in my life. I have the tendency to turn and run in the other direction to get away (ha...writing this I laugh at myself, who am I to run? It just seems silly because there's no place I can run that is outside of Him so why do I even try to get away? It always has a way of coming back to me...hence these things smacking me upside the head) OR I have the tendency to be like a little brat and cross my arms and sit down and refuse to move forward. I get the vision of a three old who doesn't like what their parent is telling them to do so they simply sit and pout and refuse to respond to what is being told of them. All this was going through my mind as I kept reading and then Manning wrote
"If we refuse to keep moving and insist on signs and tangible proofs, we diminish our faith, and that means unbelief" woah. Sucker punch in the gut. Daily I am learning more and more about what it looks like to live authentic faith. I'm learning it means I cannot cling to anything. That my hands need to be completely open to Him, especially my fears which drives me to tighten my grip and attempt to maintain control.
I have to weigh my options: what's riskier? Letting go and allowing myself live the full life He longs to give me? OR sitting in my stubborness and being a spectator sidelined by my fears?
I want to step up to plate and risk striking out if it on the flip side it means I can hit the ball out of the park. The bases are loaded, the stakes are high for His kingdom is what's at hand. I want to let go of fear. I want to trust and live and love Him more. I want to be:
Recklessly Abandoned
"If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:33
A little known fact I didn't learn about myself until about eight months ago. When God wants to teach me something He normally has to smack me over the head with it and there tends to be a lot of brokenness to release my hands of the death grip I have on my life. Something I have faced is how much my actions are dictated by fear. To me, living in fear means that I am not trusting the Lord. Not trusting Him to provide and show up. I take matters into my own hands and try to maintain control of situations in my life and I end up making huge messes out of them.
In my stubborness I run so quickly and hold on so tightly to safety. Not only does this lead to fear of taking risks but also it leads to a hinderance in the love I have for the Lord. I read somewhere that to love God is to trust God. It's true...the people I love the most in my life I count as the most trustworthy, I value their opinions and their guidance knowing fully well that they have my best interest at heart. How much more then should I trust God who is above all things and is all knowing and holds my life in His hands? Furthermore, 1 John 4:18 says that "there is no fear in love but perfect love drives out fear". If I am trusting in the His perfect love, what do I have to fear?
One of the biggest commands in the Bible is "fear not", this is a command, not a suggestion. He isn't asking me to be fearless when it's easy or when it's safe or when I can see where things in my life might be headed. Jesus constantly reminded His followers of this in the Gospels. He says in Luke 8:50 "fear not: just believe". Trust goes hand and hand with fearlessness as in this verse fear is put up against trust. I know I fear that in stepping out He won't back me up, that things will fall through, that I will fail. As cheesey as this may be, and believe me, I know at times I can be a good ol cheese ball, but I love the movie Cinderella Story. (Yes I am making reference to this...stay with me). One of the most memorable quotes from that movie is "never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game". This gets me every time. How many times do I let my fear of striking out, of failures, of disappointment keep me from stepping out in my faith and trusting in God's providence and favor? How many times do I simply dip my toes in the water instead of taking the plunge and diving into all that He has for me and all that I have been created for? How many times do I tell God: "I am not budging until you give me clear signs of what I am to do?". Hm. Lack of trust, much? Living a life of faith, I am learning, is stepping out and taking risks even when there is a lack of clarity and certain elements of discomfort.
I am reading a book right now by Brennan Manning (surprised? I try not to limit myself to his writings but I appreciate how Biblically and theologically sound his writings are and it makes me chew a little bit harder and dive deeper in the truths that the Bible presents). This one is called The Signature of Jesus and is all about living a life of authentic faith and radical discipleship. Manning presents the element of fear like this:
"fear breeds a deadening caution, a holding back, a stagnant waiting until people no longer can recaull what they are waiting for or saving themselves for...God calls us to break camp, abandon the comfort and security of the status quo, and embark in perilous freedom" I found myself many a time stuck in stagnancy as a result of my own stubborness and lack of trust. I have told Holly, my best friend, this many times: that I have two responses when I face uncertainties and fear in my life. I have the tendency to turn and run in the other direction to get away (ha...writing this I laugh at myself, who am I to run? It just seems silly because there's no place I can run that is outside of Him so why do I even try to get away? It always has a way of coming back to me...hence these things smacking me upside the head) OR I have the tendency to be like a little brat and cross my arms and sit down and refuse to move forward. I get the vision of a three old who doesn't like what their parent is telling them to do so they simply sit and pout and refuse to respond to what is being told of them. All this was going through my mind as I kept reading and then Manning wrote
"If we refuse to keep moving and insist on signs and tangible proofs, we diminish our faith, and that means unbelief" woah. Sucker punch in the gut. Daily I am learning more and more about what it looks like to live authentic faith. I'm learning it means I cannot cling to anything. That my hands need to be completely open to Him, especially my fears which drives me to tighten my grip and attempt to maintain control.
I have to weigh my options: what's riskier? Letting go and allowing myself live the full life He longs to give me? OR sitting in my stubborness and being a spectator sidelined by my fears?
I want to step up to plate and risk striking out if it on the flip side it means I can hit the ball out of the park. The bases are loaded, the stakes are high for His kingdom is what's at hand. I want to let go of fear. I want to trust and live and love Him more. I want to be:
Recklessly Abandoned
"If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:33
Sunday, June 13, 2010
A Heavenly Feast
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I know for many it is Christmas and I love recognizing the birth of Christ but to me, I can recognize that at all times of the year. What many people love about Christmas is the Christmas season, which I LOVE but it is depressing that as soon as Christmas day has come and gone, radio stations stop playing Christmas music almost immediately and the element of excitement of Christmas morning quickly dissipates. HOWEVER, Thanksgiving is the beginning of the Christmas season and such a sweet time of fellowship and community with family and friends. For my family, it is a time for all of us to get together and eat and laugh and watch football and simply enjoy each others company. No drama with gift buying and worrying about whether or not the receiver of the gift will like their present. None of that. AND not to mention the food.
Now...I realize that I have many corks in my personality and one of them is that when I'm eating, I have a tendency to get bored with the taste of a certain food. There are people who enjoy their foods because of the texture, I've never been one of those. I get the most enjoyment out of eating because of the flavor that food brings. This is why I very rarely put sauce or seasonings on my food and while eating a meal of multiple food items, I finish one before moving onto the next. Case in point? I prefer my fresh fries plain and unless something needs salt or pepper, I do without it. This is another reason I love Thanksgiving. I get to feast on a myriad of different foods...a little bit of everything and my taste buds are always entertained (did I really just say that?!).
My prayer for this summer was that I would simply become more rooted in the Lord. More rooted in His love and more rooted in my identity in Him. In response to this prayer, He has invited me to an overwhelming and amazing feast. He has invited me to feast on all He is. My thoughts are literally all over the board. I'm being challenged in so many different ways that all have a way of connecting. My passion for social justice is being challenged with what it really looks like to be a servant and how skewed my own motives are. He is growing me in trust and along with that, being beckoned to dive head first into His perfect love. He is challenging me to seek His purpose in all situations and though there may be a lack of clarity, He is teaching me that it is okay that I don't have the answers but to simply be obedient in following Him and in His timing all things will make sense. He is showing me what it means to live a life of risk through faith in Him. I read Crazy Love by Francis Chan this past fall and he says that living a life of faith means us stepping out in a way that if the Lord doesn't back us up, we're screwed. To live a life like this requires serious abandonment of all things me. It requires self-forgetfulness to plunge into who He is.
Though these things might all boil down to the element of trusting Him, the way these things are being presented in my life are all over the place. However, these many different things come together to form a full plate fit for a feast. Just like for Thanksgiving dinner, all these foods from rolls, to stuffing, to mashed potatoes, to corn, to turkey, etc...come together to form a grand and wonderful feast; everything I'm learning and being taught funnel into the character of Christ. The best part? This is a feast that I can never get full from. My prayer is that I always continue to starve for more of Him. His is a heavenly feast.
It's time to grab a fork and dig in with
Reckless Abandon
Now...I realize that I have many corks in my personality and one of them is that when I'm eating, I have a tendency to get bored with the taste of a certain food. There are people who enjoy their foods because of the texture, I've never been one of those. I get the most enjoyment out of eating because of the flavor that food brings. This is why I very rarely put sauce or seasonings on my food and while eating a meal of multiple food items, I finish one before moving onto the next. Case in point? I prefer my fresh fries plain and unless something needs salt or pepper, I do without it. This is another reason I love Thanksgiving. I get to feast on a myriad of different foods...a little bit of everything and my taste buds are always entertained (did I really just say that?!).
My prayer for this summer was that I would simply become more rooted in the Lord. More rooted in His love and more rooted in my identity in Him. In response to this prayer, He has invited me to an overwhelming and amazing feast. He has invited me to feast on all He is. My thoughts are literally all over the board. I'm being challenged in so many different ways that all have a way of connecting. My passion for social justice is being challenged with what it really looks like to be a servant and how skewed my own motives are. He is growing me in trust and along with that, being beckoned to dive head first into His perfect love. He is challenging me to seek His purpose in all situations and though there may be a lack of clarity, He is teaching me that it is okay that I don't have the answers but to simply be obedient in following Him and in His timing all things will make sense. He is showing me what it means to live a life of risk through faith in Him. I read Crazy Love by Francis Chan this past fall and he says that living a life of faith means us stepping out in a way that if the Lord doesn't back us up, we're screwed. To live a life like this requires serious abandonment of all things me. It requires self-forgetfulness to plunge into who He is.
Though these things might all boil down to the element of trusting Him, the way these things are being presented in my life are all over the place. However, these many different things come together to form a full plate fit for a feast. Just like for Thanksgiving dinner, all these foods from rolls, to stuffing, to mashed potatoes, to corn, to turkey, etc...come together to form a grand and wonderful feast; everything I'm learning and being taught funnel into the character of Christ. The best part? This is a feast that I can never get full from. My prayer is that I always continue to starve for more of Him. His is a heavenly feast.
It's time to grab a fork and dig in with
Reckless Abandon
Thursday, June 10, 2010
The Road to NowHere
So I just finished to book Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. This book challenged me so much and gave me so much insight to what living a life of radical trust looks like. Manning has a way of cutting me to the core. In one chapter he talked about living a life of trust requires a level of self forgetfulness in which we don't live outside the now and here, hence nowhere. Whew. I read this and had to put the book down. Conviction central.
I am a planner...a little bit type A about it sometimes but along with the plans I make, expectations comes with it. The past month I've been shown time and time and time again that things never happen the way we plan for them to. Things come up, our paths are rerouted. Life happens. Case in point? Last week I scheduled myself to work every day except Wednesday. The only day I worked? Wednesday. I tried the route of holding on loosely to my plans. Didn't work out so well. God gives me an inch of clarity and I stretch it out a mile and not always in a direction He has me going. I realize that in planning I am seeking to reduce risk in my life. Safety becomes my passion and control becomes my god. My new lease on life? Stop planning. Just be. Stop trying to make things happen but simply let myself be ruined of anything less than His best.
This scares me because it goes against the planner/controller in me. There are no guarantees in letting go. I could let something go and never see it come back to me. However, I realize that by letting go, I am grabbing hold of something so much better.
I am learning. Learning the unforced rhythms of grace. Learning to lean and rock with the ebbs and flow of His will where ever that may lead. Learning to be present in NowHere. Learning to forget myself, my plans, and my expectations to grab hold of Him
with reckless abandon
I am a planner...a little bit type A about it sometimes but along with the plans I make, expectations comes with it. The past month I've been shown time and time and time again that things never happen the way we plan for them to. Things come up, our paths are rerouted. Life happens. Case in point? Last week I scheduled myself to work every day except Wednesday. The only day I worked? Wednesday. I tried the route of holding on loosely to my plans. Didn't work out so well. God gives me an inch of clarity and I stretch it out a mile and not always in a direction He has me going. I realize that in planning I am seeking to reduce risk in my life. Safety becomes my passion and control becomes my god. My new lease on life? Stop planning. Just be. Stop trying to make things happen but simply let myself be ruined of anything less than His best.
This scares me because it goes against the planner/controller in me. There are no guarantees in letting go. I could let something go and never see it come back to me. However, I realize that by letting go, I am grabbing hold of something so much better.
I am learning. Learning the unforced rhythms of grace. Learning to lean and rock with the ebbs and flow of His will where ever that may lead. Learning to be present in NowHere. Learning to forget myself, my plans, and my expectations to grab hold of Him
with reckless abandon
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Running with Abandon
Welp, here it goes. I'm making the plunge. I am entering into the blogging world! I've been told that my mind is like a pinball machine...my thoughts just bounce around my head and I connect dots that on the surface, make no sense. I want this blog to be a way of organizing the thoughts that continually run around my head because I am very much an external processor (what a blessing it is that the Lord has given most of my closest friends the gift of discernment so as to provide Godly insight and understanding).
Something that God continually has been throwing at me the past year is the call to reckless abandon. Reckless is defined as: utterly unconcerned about the consequences of some action; without caution; careless. This is a calling that requires all of me. This cannot be a half hearted pursuit and requires a sense of radical trust that in throwing all aside I am grabbing hold of something so much better.
This past year I've had the privilege of discipling a freshman girl from HIS. This past semester we decided we wanted to go through the book of Acts together (if you've never read it, I highly suggest it. It's awesome). Both of us this semester were preparing for huge adventures this summer: she is now in Africa for the summer and I am here in Louisiana. Huge adventures filled with risks and a need for dependence on the Lord. Our worlds were completely rocked when we came across Acts 20:22-24 "And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." We were in a place, not knowing what we were facing when we arrived at our respective places but fully knowing that we were following His guidance.
So here I am, in Louisiana, the journey that got me here is full of His faithfulness and I know fully well He will continue to be faithful. I cannot tell you why fully I am here, I could tell you why it makes sense that I am in Louisiana however I know there is larger purpose for me being here. What is required of me is daily recognizing the need to abandon all expectations and plans to pursue the sense of adventure and purpose that has been laid out before me. It's a journey. A path where I am learning to forsake all that I am: to cast aside all my fears, desires, expectations, plans, and even common sense to run boldly and fearlessly towards Him
with reckless abandon.
Something that God continually has been throwing at me the past year is the call to reckless abandon. Reckless is defined as: utterly unconcerned about the consequences of some action; without caution; careless. This is a calling that requires all of me. This cannot be a half hearted pursuit and requires a sense of radical trust that in throwing all aside I am grabbing hold of something so much better.
This past year I've had the privilege of discipling a freshman girl from HIS. This past semester we decided we wanted to go through the book of Acts together (if you've never read it, I highly suggest it. It's awesome). Both of us this semester were preparing for huge adventures this summer: she is now in Africa for the summer and I am here in Louisiana. Huge adventures filled with risks and a need for dependence on the Lord. Our worlds were completely rocked when we came across Acts 20:22-24 "And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." We were in a place, not knowing what we were facing when we arrived at our respective places but fully knowing that we were following His guidance.
So here I am, in Louisiana, the journey that got me here is full of His faithfulness and I know fully well He will continue to be faithful. I cannot tell you why fully I am here, I could tell you why it makes sense that I am in Louisiana however I know there is larger purpose for me being here. What is required of me is daily recognizing the need to abandon all expectations and plans to pursue the sense of adventure and purpose that has been laid out before me. It's a journey. A path where I am learning to forsake all that I am: to cast aside all my fears, desires, expectations, plans, and even common sense to run boldly and fearlessly towards Him
with reckless abandon.
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