Truly, Madly, Deeply

Before I begin, yes I stole the title of this blog post from a Savage Garden song. Don't judge me. ;-) It'll all come together soon enough!

I cannot believe it is the last day of the year. The year 2010 has been a huge year of growth for me and as I sit here on the eve of a new year I thought it would be appropriate to share some of the three biggest things I've learned this year:

1. I am entitled to NOTHING
Fact: I am extremely task oriented. I like to work hard and be the best I can be with the expectation that I am going to see a certain result on the other end. At this time last year, I thought that I had it all figured out...that by pursuing the Lord and His will for me and all the while working hard, I was going to see life go my way! Well, the Lord was quick to show me that it is by Him and His grace ALONE that I have anything! This may seem like an elementary concept, but it was a huge struggle for me. I, far more than I would care to admit, can relate so much to the Pharisees  in getting extremely caught up in works and end up placing myself on a pedestal because I am DOING things to justify my salvation.  As we all know, this is not the way grace works in the least bit. This is perhaps the biggest lesson that has come my way this year as everything else I've learned has come from this.

2. I am fully equipped to face anything that comes my way
Not saying I have it all figured out by any means but what I am saying is that the things I lack in any situation, the Lord has in full. He is my strength and my provider. Everything I have right now in my life is a gift from Him and He provides what is needed in any situation. What I am right now is exactly what I need. He provides what I need, when I need it...no more or no less. Shawn McDonald has a song called "Greed" and some of the lyrics go "what we've got is what we need, everything else is only greed". In every aspect of my life, I have my every need provided for. There are so many uncertainties coming my way in the dawn of this New Year but I know that when I NEED to know the answers, I will. Because of the goodness of our God, I will not lack in anything...ever.

3. I am LOVED. Truly, Madly, Deeply.
I have experienced love this year in a richer and deeper way. Because of being stripped away of my sense of entitlement and the realization along with that that it is by God's grace ALONE that I have what I need when I need it, I have seen a more clear picture of His great love for us. I so much take for granted the community that I have and the wonderful family I am a part of. Very recently I have experienced a contrast to the community I live in daily. I have seen and experienced being loved due to fulfilling a set of expectations (which, by the way is extremely draining and brings no fulfillment or freedom) and being LOVED in a way that the Lord loves us, unconditionally. This love sets us free. In this I am free to be who I am and continue to grow to be the woman God created me to be. There is incredible encouragement there to continue to pursue the greatest Love of all. It is in realizing this freedom and experiencing God's love more deeply that my desire for others to experience the love of God has flourished. All I have is given to me by a gracious, loving Father who loves me totally and completely. There is nothing more marvelous.

2011 begins in a matter of hours. I graduate in a little over 4 months. The question hanging over my head is: "what's next"? To say I knew anything, would be a complete lie. I am not entitled to a job just because I am graduating from an accredited university. Where I am going to find a job and live is unknown. I have my own ideas of where I would like to be and what I would like life to look like, but I am coming to know and trust a God who knows best. His plan for my life is so much better than anything I could cook up on my own. I am coming to trust the Lord more fully and love Him more deeply, none of this by my own strength but because of His grace in revealing Himself. My desire is to walk through this year with total surrender and complete submission to a God who knows all, is in all, and works through all.

His love gives me the courage to follow Him with
Reckless Abandon